


Stronger Together...

by Sevenwildwaysup



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Christmas, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:38:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevenwildwaysup/pseuds/Sevenwildwaysup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It’s Only Time…

Title: Stronger Together…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3206  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance and a Little Angst, okay a lot of Angst in the beginning…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
2014 Gift Exchange for: Oceanreign

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Story Summary: After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin’s first year of marriage isn’t what they expect, but they’re finally ready to move forward…

**Chapter One ~ It’s Only Time…**

Justin’s POV

This past year has been a roller coaster ride. Brian and I can’t seem to get our schedules to line up, no matter how hard we try. We promised each other that things would be different once we were married. We have spent years together. Yet living apart, something had to give or we would surely have fallen apart. We married on a cold winter’s day in December of 2012, with a blizzard outside and most of Pittsburgh blanketed in snow. The streets looked like a frozen ghost town with temperatures hovering below zero for days on end, and the wind chill close to twenty below. 

A winter weather emergency was declared, and the only ones foolish enough to venture out were those few family members who insisted on witnessing our nuptials. Maybe because they couldn’t quite believe that the great Brian Kinney and his twink were finally tying the knot. We were happy, we finally made it. Though it hadn’t been easy and at one point or another both of us were ready to walk away from each other, rather than continue to suffer the pain and heartbreak of all the disappointments over the last seven years.

First my career if you can call it that, struggled along without much notice from the critics, gallery owners or patrons of the arts. But Brian insisted that I keep on trying, no matter how much I wanted to throw in the towel. He’s always believed in me, maybe more than I believed in myself. I was lonely and depressed, the only time I was happy was when he came to New York for a long weekend. But he did come, every month and it gave me hope and something to look forward to. 

It kept me inspired to paint; I wanted to be able to show him something new each time he visited. But those long weeks in between visits were hell. It was so hard to take all the rejections, and yet keep painting, always hoping my next painting would be the masterpiece that set me apart from all the other struggling artist. I rarely came back to Pittsburgh, except for the holidays. It became a tradition that I would stay for the month between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. I used to daydream about how it might be married to this man I so desperately loved, wishing all the while that I never had to return to New York.

Then last year I just decided that’s exactly what I wanted. I was finally ready to be Mr. Justin Taylor-Kinney, and the best part was that he was also ready to be Mr. Brian Taylor-Kinney. Somehow with Emmett’s help we pulled off the wedding in just three weeks, and married on Friday night, December 20, 2012. But nothing is ever how you plan and the wedding was great, except for being the coldest winter on record. We planned a spring honeymoon in Paris. It was going to be so perfect, and dare I say, ridiculously romantic.

Brian and I went back to New York in January to attend my graduation from Pratt University, after getting my Master of the Arts. Then while we packed up all my things for shipping, I was offered my first solo show at the Sloan Fine Art Gallery. I had been part of many art exhibits before, but I was always just one of several artists being featured for the show. I’ve sold dozen of paintings over the years to several well-known art collectors and galleries. I’ve even had newspaper and magazine articles written about my budding career. But my own show, this was big and I was ecstatic. Of course Brian claimed that he knew all along that it was just and matter of time before I hit it big. God, I love this man and how much he’s always been there for me, always so proud of me, never wavering in his belief of my talent.

But of course this meant that I’d have to paint like crazy until spring and, of course, my exhibit was set for the week we planned to go on our honeymoon. So it was pushed back to the middle of the summer, but after the success of my solo show I was offered a commission. It was for some big shot in Madrid, painting murals on the walls of his new corporate headquarters. We were both disappointed that our honeymoon was being postponed again, but excited about my new assignment. It was going to be hard being away from Brian again for what was supposed to be three months, which quickly turned into six months. 

We made plans for Brian to come visit in August and then again in November. It was great being together in Spain and I was even able to take a week off for just the two of us. But it still wasn’t the month-long honeymoon we had planned and once Brian returned home, I was again alone and even more lonely. A couple months passed and I was counting down the days for Brian’s second vacation to visit me in Spain, then the two us would return to Pittsburgh together. But of course they kept changing the designs and extending my work schedule. Then Brian landed a big account for Fit-Bit and had to cancel his second visit to Madrid. 

We were both devastated. This is not what we had planned when we got married. We had promised each other that we’d finally be together. Waking up together in the mornings and going to bed together every night. We were both looking forward to being a bit more domesticated, finally ready to be committed to each other and starting our life together. Finally fulfilling that promise we made to each other so long ago, lying in front of the fireplace at Britin. It almost seems like a lifetime ago. 

So on December 1st I put my foot down and informed them that I was leaving in two weeks. No more changes. No exceptions. I was out of there and going home to my husband. Then I had this great idea that Brian and I should go to Paris for our anniversary. We would finally have our honeymoon and spend the holidays in Europe. It was all set. My commission was almost done and I was just wrapping up the last-minute details when Brian called and said something had come up, that he wouldn’t be able to make the trip. 

I was furious. I totally went off on him and insisted that he come. I refused to accept no for an answer. All he could say was he was sorry and that it couldn’t be helped. Little did I realize that I would actually need another week myself to tie up all the loose ends on my commission. Brian was very understanding and said he actually had to be out of town a little longer than he had expected, but we’d be together soon. The next week was frantic. I couldn’t reach Brian by phone and I wasn’t sure where he was traveling to, or who his new client was.

By some miracle I actually finished up early and on December 17th I was finally flying back to Pittsburgh, excited about surprising Brian and ready to celebrate our first anniversary. I didn’t think anything of it when I got home and Brian wasn’t there. It was the middle of the afternoon and I needed a nap. But when I awoke, it was dark out and there still wasn’t any sign of Brian. Looking at the clock I noticed that it was almost 8 pm, so I called Brian’s cell, but it just kept rolling over to voicemail. I assumed that he was probably out with the guys having drinks after work, but after several more tries I called Ted and asked him where Brian’s new account was and when he was expected back in town.

“Justin, aaah… Brian’s out of town, but he’s not pitching a new account. He left a couple of days ago to see you in Madrid.”

“A couple of days ago? Are you sure, Ted?”

“Yeah, he isn’t due back at work until after the first of the year.”

“Really?”

“So, I guess he’s not in Spain with you?”

“No. I mean I’m not in Spain. I flew home early to surprise him. I guess we both had the same idea. But a couple of days ago? He should have been there before I left.”

“Have you tried his cell?”

“Yeah, but I’ll try again. Thanks, Ted.”

Justin leans back against the big fluffy pillows on the bed as he pushes the speed dial on his phone for Brian. It rings and rings then finally Brian answers.

“Hey, Sunshine. How’s sunny Spain?”

“Sunny… Brian, please tell me you’re not on a plane headed to Spain.”

“Nope…”

In the background Justin can hear muffled announcements over the intercom, and it sounds just like an airport.

“It sounds like you’re at the airport. Please promise me you’re not planning on surprising me in Madrid.”

“Nope.”

He voice is slurred and he seems just a little too happy-go-lucky. Justin can’t help thinking that he’s drunk.

“So… Where are you?”

“Nothing to worry about. I’m all snuggled down, tucked in my bed.”

“Really? Your bed?”

“Yep.” 

“Brian, I’m lying on our bed right now and you’re not here.”

“Really? You’re home?”

“Yes, Brian. Now where the hell are you? Or should I be asking whose bed are you tucked into?”

“You’re really home?”

Yep, he’s drunk… “Brian, talk to me…”

“Mr. Kinney! I told you no cell phones!”

In a very slurred voice Brian says, “It’s Taylor-Kinney.”

The next voice Justin hears is some woman telling him that Mr. Taylor-Kinney isn’t allowed any phones calls at this time and starts to hang up. 

Justin yells into the phone. “Wait. Wait. Please tell me where Brian is.”

“Who’s calling?”

“This is Justin Taylor-Kinney, his husband.”

“You don’t know where your husband is, Mr. Taylor-Kinney?”

“I’ve been out of the country. Please tell me where he is.”

“He’s about to go into surgery.”

“Surgery? Where?”

“Johns Hopkins Oncology Surgical Unit.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can…”

 

Waiting is the Hardest Part…

Justin’s POV

It seemed to take forever for the plane to finally take off. Luckily I was able to get a flight out at 10 pm. Now that we’re airborne my mind is racing, thinking back over this last year. I noticed Brian was thinner but I just figured that it had something to do with the fact that we were now married and he was trying to prove that he was still young and beautiful; of course he’ll always be young and beautiful to me. I did notice he seemed to be nauseous a lot and had lost even more weight when he came for a visit in August, but with his golden tan and flat stomach I just didn’t think much of it.

Now I’m just kicking myself for not really noticing it, not saying something. I can’t help feeling like I’ve wasted so much time, not just this last year when we should have been together, but all those years I spent in New York. I hated being so far away from him. Why didn’t I insist on coming home sooner? Lord knows I wanted to. To be truthful I didn’t really want to go in the first place, but Lindsay convinced Brian that I had to be in New York. It was the only place I could become the great artist that I was meant to be. What a load of crap. But Brian bought right into all of it, and once he decides something, it’s hard to convince him that he’s wrong.

That’s one thing I finally learned while I was growing up in New York. I have to make my own decisions. I was ready to come home, ready to marry him, and ready to live in this beautiful mansion he bought me a few years ago. So that’s why I can’t help asking myself why. Why didn’t I just leave, after I finally came home to him? Why, why, why? It’s all I can do to not burst out crying, worrying about Brian and his health. What if we don’t have years together? What if he doesn’t make it? Just the thought of losing him after waiting so long for our future to start is making me crazy. I flag the stewardess down and order another double Jack Daniels to calm my nerves.

~~~

I’m pacing in the waiting room, scared out of my mind and furious with the nurses. They can’t tell me anything about Brian’s surgery. I have to talk with his doctor. But of course his doctor is in surgery, so I don’t even know where the cancer has spread to, or how long he’ll be in the operating room. Does his doctor doesn’t even know to come and tell me once he’s in recovery? Oh God. What if he doesn’t recover? It happens you know. Some people never come out of the anesthesia. Tears are running down my face now, and I don’t even try and hide them. Everyone here in this waiting room is here for their loved one suffering from cancer. They know how hard and painful it is worrying and waiting, just like me.

To calm myself I start making lists in my head of everything I want to experience with Brian. I’m not willing to put anything off from now on. We’re going to Paris and Ibiza this next year. I’m going to insist he slows down and stop working 60 – 70 hours a week. Hell, maybe he should take a year off and just spend it resting and relaxing. Just enjoying our marriage. Okay maybe not, we might kill each other. I just don’t want to look back and think what if we had done things differently. I already have so many regrets. 

He told me the night before we got married that he wanted us to travel, to spend our summers seeing the world. We talked about visiting Europe, seeing France, Italy, and Greece, seeing all the historic architecture and the great museums. He wanted to see the pyramids and the Great Wall of China. He said he wanted us to see the world together, that there was so much to experience and it was me he wanted to experience it with. 

He loved it in Spain, and I wish we had taken more time to really explore the country. I let myself get too caught up in my work and, even though I was there six months, I rarely saw much of the countryside. I have to learn to stop and remember to live life. I’ve spent so much time projecting what my future will be, that I haven’t really let myself experience the present. You’d think I would have learned that lesson after Ben passed away. He used to say, ‘You have to live each moment to the fullest.’ I vow from now on things are going to be different. Brian and I are going to slow down and enjoy life. 

Oh God, I’m so worried about him. I’m so angry that he didn’t tell me about his cancer returning. We’re married now, we’re not supposed to have secrets. But knowing him I’m sure he thought it was best not to worry me, or disturb me while I was away. But that’s total bullshit! I want to be mad at him, but I can’t. I love him so much. What the fuck is taking so long? I need to know what’s going on! I feel like screaming!

It’s all catching up with me even though I’ve had a nap. I’m really still in a different time zone. I feel exhausted so I finally settle down and soon I’m fast asleep in that hard plastic chair. I think they make those chairs especially for waiting rooms, just to make sure you’re as uncomfortable as possible, while you worry about your loved ones, praying that they pull through. Even though I’m asleep I can still hear all the others whispering, being overly emotional as they mill around, wearing a path in the carpet, pacing.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep when I sense someone sitting next to me, maybe a little too close. I crack my eyes open to check them out and I’m so relieved when I see that it’s Daphne. I can’t believe she’s here; I never expected her to come. She’s doing her residency at George Washington University Hospital in Washington DC. She smiles down at me and squeezes my hand to let me know she’s here for me. Soon we’re hugging each other. My tears are back and I’m grateful to have someone here with me; it was horrible being alone, worried out of my mind.

She tells me Baltimore is really close to D.C., only about forty miles, but she couldn’t leave until her shift at the hospital was over. I can see it in her eyes; she knows more about Brian’s condition than she’s telling me and it’s starting to frighten me.

“Daph, you know, don’t you? Please tell me. I have to know what’s going on.”

“I don’t, not really… You need to talk with Brian’s doctor. He’ll know the specifics of Brian’s condition. He’ll be better at explaining his prognosis and the treatments available.”

“You’re really starting to scare me. Please just tell me, if you know.”

She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Okay, I talked with his nurse and was able to get a little information, but I don’t know the extent of his condition or his prognosis.”

“And…”

Daphne reaches out and takes my hand, and tries her best to stay calm and not scare me anymore than I already am.

“Brian has stomach cancer.”

“What? Stomach cancer? Oh my God!”

Tears well up in my eyes and I start shaking. Daph reaches out and pulls me into her arms and just lets me cry. As frightened as I am I have to ask, “Is he going to die?”

Tears are now running down both of our faces as she whispers, “I don’t know, Justin. I really don’t know.”

“I can’t lose him. I just can’t.”

“His nurse said they caught it early, which is really rare, and that they’re only removing part of his stomach. But I can’t really tell you anything more. We’ll have to wait until his surgery is over and we can talk with his doctor.”

“Oh God. I need a drink. This is worse than I imagined. He really could die, couldn’t he?”

“Hopefully not… But yes…”

TBC…


	2. Under the Knife…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin’s struggles to accept that Brian’s cancer has returned…

Title: Stronger Together…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3698  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance and a Little Angst, okay a lot of Angst in the beginning…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
2014 Gift Exchange for: Oceanreign

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Story Summary: After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.

Chapter Summary: Justin’s struggles to accept that Brian’s cancer has returned…

**Chapter Two ~ Under the Knife…**

Brian’s POV

I hear myself counting backwards from one hundred as I stare into the bright light above me. Soon I’m floating somewhere in space and all I see is my Sunshine’s face, his beautiful smile and he’s laughing. He looks so happy. His smile has a way of making me feel calm, loved, and invincible just like when I was a kid and I escaped into some adventure between the pages of my library books. 

It’s funny how your life flashes before your eyes when you’re close to the end. I know I should have told him, it isn’t fair for him to find out this way. I know I promised him I’d never keep secrets from him again, but he was so excited about painting those murals. I just hated the idea of him leaving something that made him so happy to come home and watch me die… To have to care for me until the bitter end… I hate to be a burden to him. He’s so young, and he deserves someone so much better than me. 

There’s so many things I love about him… I remember when I’d come home to him, and he’d rush towards me, thrusting himself into my arms after a long day of work. His homemade dinners that tasted better than any five-star restaurant I’ve taken him to, and the way his eyes sparkled that let me know that he loved me without saying a word. The way he was able to capture my likeness on canvas and paper. He truly is a great artist and I’m so glad the world’s finally taken notice.

Dancing with him at Babylon, or Crave in Manhattan, or all alone at home, just the two of us. The way he used to look at me in the beginning, like I was some kind of God, and him in his school uniform. Christ, I can still get hard just thinking about him dressed like that. His constant faith in us and our love, and the way our bodies fit together, like we were made just for each other.

His romantic sense of adventure, dragging me into the countryside and surprising me with picnic lunches. Or our moonlight walks, holding hands while he told me all his dreams for our future. When we got lost on the back roads in Spain, and ended up spending the night, sleeping outside under the stars. 

Looking back there’s so many things I love about him, and I’m so grateful that he chose me to love. Even if I did go kicking and screaming in the beginning, I’ve never regretted a day we’ve spent together. No one’s ever filled my heart so completely the way he does. I’m so glad he taught me how to love, to feel loved and finally let go of the demons from my childhood.

I guess it’s ironic that life has finally caught up with me, the combination of my radiation treatments in the past, and all my wild ways of drinking too much, drugging and smoking have led to me developing stomach cancer. Even though Dr. Diaz says that he caught it early and that there’s a chance it might not be terminal. I’m not so sure that’s true, and I can’t help feeling like I’m disappointing him. There’s still so many things I want to do and share with him, and for once in my life I’m actually not afraid. I want to grow old with him right by my side.

I can’t help my mind from reeling with all these thoughts of him, as the anesthesia takes hold and my mind goes blank. I felt so all alone, gripped with fear when I was lying in that bed as they prepped me for surgery. Just hearing his voice for a few minutes made me remember why I need to hold onto the will to live. If for nothing more, than to see his beautiful smile once again.

Justin’s POV

It was the longest night of my life as I sat waiting to hear the news about Brian’s surgery, the clock slowly ticking away and each minute seemed like hours. Drinking countless cups of Starbucks, and running to the bathroom was the only relief I had. I stared at magazines to distract myself, but I couldn’t really focus enough to actually read them. Besides they were about a hundred years old, with tattered pages and missing covers. Daphne was great through all the long hours and awkward silence as neither one of us knew what to say to one another. 

It was all I could do not to break out crying again, as my mind worked overtime; I was thinking about how I was going to ream Brian out for not telling me about his cancer. My anger grew with each passing moment. How dare he not include me! We were now married. I had a right to know, and if the situation was reversed, he’d be furious with me if he found out from some nurse right before my surgery. He had better hurry up and get out of surgery, because I was going to kill him as soon as he was conscious. 

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounds, so I just pray that he makes it through the surgery. I kick myself for not having researched the possibilities of Brian’s cancer returning, or spreading. How could I not have investigated this? It was always in the back of my mind. Although I’ll admit that I always thought it would be lung cancer, the man smokes like a chimney. Well, that’s going to stop. I don’t care how hard it is for him to go cold turkey. I won’t allow it, and the drinking. Yes, that has to go too. If he survives this he’s going on a health kick because I plan on keeping him around for a long time.

Once my anger wore off I started thinking maybe I’m overacting. Daphne said they caught it early. He’s going to be fine, this is just a health scare. Something to shake him up and get him to start living healthy. Yes, that’s it. He’ll have the surgery and he’ll be fine; there’s nothing to worry about. After all he’s a survivor, and he’s just too plain snarky to die. Besides, he’s only forty-three; we’ll have years together. I have to stop all this negative thinking; it isn’t helping anyways.

After my millionth run to the bathroom, I return with more lattes from Starbucks and see that my mother is now here sitting next to Daphne. I don’t know when Daph called her, maybe during one of her coffee runs. I hand them both a latte. I’ve really had more than enough coffee and I’m totally wired at this point. My mom hugs me and I can see that she’s been crying. But I push my tears back down, or maybe I’m all cried out. Lord knows I should need an IV by now. I must be dehydrated from crying so many tears.

Maybe it was seeing my mom that stirred up all my emotions, but I’ve become melancholy again. Of course now my mind is desperate to know what is happening. I can’t help becoming overwhelmed with dread and a sense of loss. I’m praying that he’s strong enough. After all he’s always seemed invincible to me - ‘The Great and Powerful Kinney.’ 

I refuse to believe that this could really be it. That he might not survive, that I might not see him again. How I long to hold him, it’s been so long. Four months. Even when I was in New York we saw each other every few weeks. I’ve been missing him desperately. I was so disappointed when he canceled his plans to visit me in the fall, and then our winter honeymoon. I would have flown right back here if he had only been truthful with me. But I guess that’s why he didn’t, because he knew I couldn’t stay away.

It’s already seven in the morning and he’s been in surgery for so long, so many hours. I can’t help but think something has gone wrong. My need to know what is happening is verging on desperation and I’m about to start crawling the walls. That’s when I see him, Dr. Louis Alberto Diaz. I found his bio in some of the literature they have here in the waiting room. I’ve memorized it by now. 

He graduated from the University of Michigan, and has been practicing for sixteen years. He specializes in gastrointestinal cancer, and he’s been published in twenty-five medical journals over the years. He was named ‘Regional Top Doctor’ by Castle Connolly and he’s one of the best in his field. So there’s nothing to worry about. Right?

“Mr. Justin Taylor-Kinney?”

I’m already on my feet and practically running across the room when he calls my name.

“Dr. Diaz. How is he? Did the surgery go as planned? When can I see him?”

I can’t help the desperation that’s showing in my voice. I’m almost panicked as I feel my tears returning again.

“It was a long surgery, and he’s in recovery now. I performed a partial gastrectomy, removing the lower portion of his stomach. I also removed all the surrounding lymph nodes, and part of the omentum, the sheet of connective tissue that holds the stomach in place. It was necessary to remove the lymph nodes close to his stomach, and the main blood vessels supplying the stomach, because there’s a chance they may contain cancer cells that have broken away from the main tumor. Removing the lymph nodes reduces the risk of his cancer returning.”

“He will have a scar across his abdomen from the surgery, and his diet will be restricted to small meals every couple of hours for quite a long time after the operation. Every patient is different, so trial and error is the only way to find out which foods upset his stomach. I strongly suggest you keep a food log, drawing a line down the center of the page and write down what he eats on the right side, and on the left any symptoms he experiences. After several days you’ll be able to spot which foods cause his symptoms.” 

“He’ll need to meet with his dietician frequently after treatment to gauge his progress. It’s not unusual for patients to experience some problems such as a feeling of fullness, diarrhea, vomiting, indigestion and colic. Eating foods high in fiber will make him feel uncomfortable such as wholegrain breads, rice, pasta, beans, lentils, cabbage and greens. As you gradually add these foods back into his diet I suggest only having one high-fiber food per meal.”

“It is also recommended that he avoid all fizzy drinks and it’s best not to drink with meals at all. Try to avoid soups and very liquid foods, any liquid will fill him up. It’s very important that he get the required vitamins and supplements in his diet; iron, calcium and vitamin D. I will meet with him on a regular basis and run blood tests to ensure he’s absorbing enough to keep his red blood count normal. I’ll give you a list of foods that contain these nutrients and vitamins, along with a suggested diet plan.”

“I know this is a lot to absorb all at once, so I’ll have my nurse give you all the literature and instruction for you to read over, and refer to as needed. I’m always available to answer any of your questions, and of course he’ll have frequent follow-up visits to assess his health and progress. Brian’s very lucky he sought medical advice right away after noticing his extreme weight loss, fatigue and feelings of nausea.”

“Most stomach cancers often aren’t diagnosed until they have advanced and spread into other organs. But we caught his early and with the right follow-up care I don’t see any reason that he won’t be able to live a full and long life. Although he’ll need to be monitored on a regular basis for the rest of his life.”

“Dr. Diaz, I’m still having a hard time wrapping my brain around how this cancer developed. I read in the literature that the radiation that Brian received after his testicular cancer contributed to his development of his stomach cancer?”

“Yes. Unfortunately we now know more about the effects of chemotherapy and radiation through research studies. The amount of radiation that was used during Brian’s follow up treatment and what is now recommended has now been greatly reduced for treating testicular cancer.”

“So will he have to undergo chemotherapy or radiation for his follow-up care for his stomach cancer?”

“In some cases where the stomach cancer has advanced beyond stage one and into stage two or higher, chemotherapy is often used before surgery to help shrink the tumor and as follow-up care to reduce the risk of the cancer returning. Brian’s cancer was caught early enough that chemotherapy wasn’t recommended. Radiation therapy is rarely used in treating stomach cancer, although it has been used during follow-up as a preventive medicine in advanced cancer patients.”

“Oh, thank God. I was so worried that he’d have to go through the radiation therapy again. So he won’t be on any medication after his surgery?”

“Only pain medication immediately after the surgery and as his sutures heal. Then he should be fine. Well, as fine as he can be. As I said, working through the kinks in his diet and finding the right foods that he can digest will be a little work. But over the next six months to a year his diet should stabilize and his stomach will grow to accommodate a normal-size meal. Although he’ll always have to watch his diet, and continue to eat healthy for the rest of his life. Just like he’ll have to continue to see an oncologist throughout his life to monitor his health and wellbeing.”

“Thank you, Dr. Diaz. You’ve been so helpful and I appreciate you taking the time to explain everything to me. I’m so relieved that Brian is expected to make a full recovery, and he’ll be able to life a full and happy life.”

“Now I’m sure you’re anxious to see him. He’s in recovery and it will take some time for his anesthesia to wear off. But you’re welcome to sit with him, and please stop worrying. The worst part is over, and his surgery went better than expected. Like I said, his cancer was caught early and didn’t have a chance to spread. You look like you’ve been up all night, so I suggest you get something to eat. We need you alert and healthy, and if you like, I’ll have to nurse bring you a blanket and pillow so you can rest, once Brian’s moved into a private room.”

I’m finally able to calm down. I’ve been a nervous wreck since I spoke with Brian on the phone last night. My emotions have run the gambit from rage to crippling fear, but I’m now feeling like I can finally breathe. My mom and Daphne insist that I get something to eat and not in the cafeteria here at the hospital. So we head over to Dominick’s directly across the street from the hospital. Brian’s nurse said it was known for having a great breakfast menu and that all the hospital staff frequented it daily. 

Just walking across the street we’re hit with the smell of fresh-baked bread and pastries. It’s so crowded that the line is out the door, but no fear, they have a waitress serving fresh-ground coffee to those of us waiting in line. The menu is posted in the front window and it all sounds great. There’s mile-high flapjacks with real maple syrup, deluxe omelets as well as Eggs Benedict and Belgian waffles. It’s a good thing there’s a hospital right across the street because this place is a heart attack just waiting to happen. 

Once I’m thoroughly stuffed, my mom and Daphne head out to the Hyatt Regency a few blocks away to arrange rooms for us, although I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave Brian’s side. He may be out of the woods from his surgery, but I can’t imagine actually leaving him alone at the hospital. As promised, the nurse brings me a blanket to use as I sit next to Brian, holding his hand. He’s still in recovery so they won’t be moving him until he’s recovered from the anesthesia and he’s stabilized. It’s strange as he looks so peaceful sleeping here next to me, and I’m still a bundle of nerves.

I must have dozed off because I wake to him squeezing my hand. He has a goofy grin on his face and it’s obvious that he’s still loopy from the anesthesia. 

“Hey Sunshine. You’re here”

“You’re awake, sort of.”

“I wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”

That almost brings tears to my eyes again, but I’m determined to stay strong for him. I can only imagine how frightened he must be, especially thinking he was all alone.

“I knew you’d pull through, but I should have been here for you. I can’t believe you kept this from me. You promised me no more secrets.”

“I know… I’m sorry… I promise it won’t happen again.”

“You’re damn right it won’t. Otherwise I’m going to have to kill you.”

I stand and lean over, brushing our lips together. God, it feels good to be this close to him, just smelling that scent that is all him. Well him and the surgical smell of the anesthetic and the drugs leaching through his skin. I pull back and we look into each other’s eyes. We both see so many unspoken emotions that we’re feeling for one another.

“God, I love you so much, Brian. You really scared the hell out of me.” 

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you.”

“Yeah. Well, guess what? It didn’t work.”

“Please don’t be mad at me. I need you so much right now.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He yawns, and I can tell he’s still exhausted. Dr. Diaz comes in and checks his vital signs, then shines that penlight in his eyes. I have no idea why they do that. Of course it makes him squint and he shields his eyes automatically. After making some notes in Brian’s chart he has the nurses prepare to move him to a private room. He tells me that Brian will probably float in and out of sleep over the next twelve hours or so and that it’s to be expected. He’ll be back to check on him every couple of hours to monitor his blood pressure and heart rate.

Once we’re settled in his room they tell me that I’m welcome to spend the night with him, and to feel free to sleep in the second bed. There’s plenty of magazines to read, and they give me a guide to the cable channels on the television. I just have to let his nurse on duty know if I need anything. They have a break room with coffee, tea, water and sodas. If I’m hungry they also have fresh fruit, protein bars and breakfast cereals, or they can order me a meal from the cafeteria. Everyone is being so nice; it seems more like a hotel than a hospital. 

He’s only allowed visitors briefly in the morning, afternoon, and the evening. They limit the visiting schedule, so the patients get plenty of rest. They expect that he’ll be in the hospital for two or three days and then he’ll be released to go home to recuperate. They suggest that we hire a visiting nurse to come to the house several times a day, to help with his care and recovery, and monitor his diet and nutrition. They also suggest that I limit his visitors for the first week to very brief visits. In the beginning he’ll be uncomfortable a lot of the time, and as Dr. Diaz mentioned he’ll probably experience bouts of diarrhea, vomiting, indigestion and colic. So the less people around the more comfortable he’ll feel. Besides he won’t feel much like entertaining or be able to focus on others for a while.

The next days seem like a blur. Daphne and my mom were great. They stopped by and brought me food, clothing, books and sundries. They arranged for Brian’s transportation home, and for a friend of Daphne’s, who is a nurse to stay at the house to help out. We’ve been able to keep the family at bay, mostly because they think Brian and I are in Europe for the holidays and our honeymoon, so I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible. 

I know they mean well, but the last thing we need is for them popping in and asking lots of questions. Demanding to know what’s going on and insisting on being there for Brian. It’s up to him if and when he wants to tell them about his stomach cancer. I just hope we can avoid having to directly lie to them. Of course Ted knows the truth and I trust him; he’ll always have Brian’s back and his best interest at heart. Brian trusts him completely to run Kinnetik, which is a good thing because he won’t be going back to work in the immediate future. 

He’s finally figured out that he’s made a name for himself in the advertising world, and more than enough money to last a lifetime. When he does he’s agreed to only go back part time, and only to oversee or woo the big accounts. Besides he’ll need lots of rest and recuperation over this next year and we will finally have time for our relationship, I mean marriage. We’ve spent too much time apart and we plan to make up for the last eight years. He says he plans on letting me support him with my art career and glamorous jet-setting lifestyle. 

TBC…


	3. Home at Last…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re finally home, together and ready to relax, but it’s less than peaceful to say the least…

Title: Stronger Together…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3450  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance and a Little Angst, okay a lot of Angst in the beginning…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
2014 Gift Exchange for: Oceanreign

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Story Summary: After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.

Chapter Summary: They’re finally home, together and ready to relax, but it’s less than peaceful to say the least…

**Chapter Three ~ Home at Last…**

We’re finally home. We spent the whole day traveling home from Baltimore, to Pittsburgh, although the plane ride wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. The airline stewardess made Brian as comfortable as possible. Of course, in first class, they aim to please and Brian flies so frequently he actually knows some of them by name. There was a limo waiting at the airport for us; my mom flew back yesterday and prepared the house for our arrival.

The fridge and cupboards were stocked, and she made up the guest room after meeting with Shelley, our private nurse, who will be staying with us while Brian recuperates. I was surprised when we got home to find out that I knew Shelley from our days at St. James’ Academy. She graduated from Temple University as a Registered Nurse, and she’s been working at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Chicago. 

She just moved back to Pittsburgh after becoming engaged to her longtime boyfriend Charlie. She’s been accepted to Pittsburgh University Medical School, where she plans on specializing in Oncology. She and Brian seem to be getting along great, and it’s a relief to know that there’s someone else here besides me to care for Brian. He was a real bear after his surgery last time, but this time around I think he’s just grateful to be alive. This cancer scare has really shaken him up.

I’m so glad to be home. I really hate hospitals; they always make me feel on edge and bring back so many bad memories. Tomorrow is the day before Christmas and even though I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, I do want to decorate the house a little. I’d like to make a festive dinner for two on Christmas day, but with Brian’s limited food options it’s challenging. I lie here next to him as he sleeps, brainstorming ideas. 

Tomorrow’s Shelley’s engagement party at some fancy hotel and I don’t expect her home afterwards. We agreed that through the holidays she would be here for several hours in the morning and then again in the afternoon. I think Brian and I can handle it on our own through the other hours. Of course, her boyfriend Charlie is more than welcome to stay here with her. He’s still living in Boston and will be moving back early next year; he has accepted a position with a new law firm, starting in February.

~~~

Brian slept well last night. I think just being home and sleeping in his own bed really helped out. He’s been careful with his diet and this morning I made him cream of wheat and a small mix of fresh strawberries and tangerine slices. He seemed to enjoy that and it didn’t give him any problems, so I’m hopeful we’ll be able to find a diet that he enjoys and doesn’t upset his stomach. He’s still tired all the time and sleeps a lot. I’ve bought him a stack of DVDs to watch and a shitload of magazines; GQ, Smithsonian, Rolling Stone, Entrepreneur, Discover, Fortune, The New Yorker, Forbes, Mad Magazine and National Geographic. 

I didn’t hear the doorbell, but the sound of Lindsay’s voice is unmistakable as it echoes up the stairs. I can tell Shelley’s frustrated by Lindsay’s pushiness and insistence that she’s family, so she should be able to barge right in.

“Lindsay, what are you doing here?”

“Justin, I didn’t know you were back. I thought that you and Brian were still in Europe?”

“Ah ha. So then, why are you here?”

“I’m in town for the holidays, and I figured I’d stay here.”

“But you don’t have a key. How were you planning on getting in? Besides, don’t you think you should have asked first?”

“I figured that you’d have a key hidden away somewhere outside. I asked Ted, but he insisted that he didn’t know.”

“This really isn’t a good time. Brian and I just got home and we really want some privacy and time for ourselves.”

“Nonsense. This is a huge house. You won’t even know I’m here.”

She glances at Shelley. “Excuse me, dear. I think I’ll have a drink. Could you make me a daiquiri?”

“Lindsay. Shelley isn’t the maid.”

“Oh… Well… Justin would you please be a dear and pay the taxi driver and bring in my luggage.”

Justin glares at her for a moment then goes outside.

“So where is Brian? And who are you again? Shelley? I don’t believe I’ve heard of you before.”

“Brian isn’t seeing visitors.”

“Yet, here you are.”

Her condescending tone just irks Shelley and Justin, as he returns to the house and overhears her.

“Justin? Where is the bar set up? I haven’t really spent any time here before.”

“How about a bottle of water? We’re not really drinking these days.”

She just stares at him like he’s speaking a foreign language.

“Where are my suitcases? Did you put them in my room already?”

“No. I paid the taxi driver for you and he’s waiting to take you back into town, or your parents’ house, or wherever you plan to go.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Like I said, Brian and I want our privacy. We plan on spending this holiday season by ourselves.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Once everyone finds out you’re home, they’ll all want to see you too."

“Yes. Well, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to anyone. Just because we’re home now, doesn’t mean we don’t want to spend the holidays alone, just the two of us.”

“You’re actually asking me to leave?”

“Yes. I am, and I’d appreciate it if you’d call in the future before just stopping by. After all it is a long drive from the city and there’s no reason to make the trip uninvited.”

“Well I never! I want to talk to Brian! You can’t just throw me out of here! I’m family and I’m sure Brian will want to see me.”

“He’s sleeping…”

“Well, wake him up!”

“Lindsay!”

“Brian! It’s so great to see you! Merry Christmas!”

But of course just as the words leave her mouth she notices that he’s still in his pajamas; he has bedhead hair and looks really sick.

“Oh Brian, aren’t you feeling well? It’s a good thing I’m here. I can take care of you. I’m sure Justin doesn’t have a clue what to do. I’m a mother you know. I should be the one to care for you.”

“No!”

“Brian! Don’t be silly. I’m here now. I’ll take care of you, and Justin can play with his little friend.”

“Lindsay, just stop. This isn’t open for discussion. I need to lie back down. Besides, shouldn’t you be with your wife and kids?”

“They didn’t come with me.”

“You’re not spending the holidays with Gus?”

“Well no… But let me explain.”

“I really don’t feel well right now. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it from Michael. Now I’m going back to bed. Good bye, Lindsay.”

She looks stunned, as she watches Brian climb the grand staircase. Justin gestures towards the door.

“Here let me get the door for you, and remember we want our privacy, so please keep this to yourself.”

“You know this isn’t right. This isn’t how it is supposed to be.”

“Oh, how’s that?”

“You and Brian were never supposed to stay together. It was supposed to be Michael.”

“Really? Is that why you up and told Brian I needed to move to New York?”

“Yes. You never would have become the artist you are today if I hadn’t pushed you.”

“Ah yes. The artist that you never became.”

“That’s a cruel and mean thing to say to me.”

“Yes, and you’ve been so polite to me today.”

“You think you’re so high and mighty. That you know what’s best for Brian. But what would have been best, is if he actually married Michael.”

“Are we back to that again?”

“I’m just saying, I think he’d be happier in the long run. Brian and Michael are so close.”

“You mean they were so close. They don’t really spend much time together these days. Besides, as I recall Michael was already married to Ben for years.”

“Yes, but we all knew Ben would eventually die, and he did.”

“Oh? So Brian was the backup plan?”

“No. Not exactly. That just kind of happened. Michael was giving Brian time to sow his wild oats, then they were supposed to settle down and get married.”

“There’s that phrase again, ‘supposed to.’ So sorry to have ruined the plan. I assume a plan Brian was never consulted on?”

“It was always understood. But then you came along, you just kept chasing him. Making him think he was in love with you. You’ll see, he’ll get bored always waiting around for you to return from one of your commissions, or gallery openings.”

“Wow! Tell me how you really feel about me!”

“You just don’t get it. He’ll never be the one you really want. The one that you’ll be happy with in the long run.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see now, won’t we? Now hurry along, your taxi is waiting.”

Justin’s a little shocked by this outburst of Lindsay’s. Is this really what everyone thinks about their marriage? Shelley just shrugs her shoulders while raising her eyebrows. 

“Some friend.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that. I had no idea that’s how she felt.”

“If it’s any consolation, I think you and Brian are great together. You both seem really happy, and so in love.”

“Thanks, Shelley, that’s sweet. Let’s hope your new family welcomes you with open arms, instead of back-stabbing insults.”

“Thanks, I hope so too. I guess I should get ready for my big party tonight. You’re sure you’re okay with me leaving Brian for the night? Because I‘ll be glad to come back after the party if you like.”

“No, I’m sure we’ll be fine. You go and have a great time and congratulations again. I know you’ll be happy together.”

They both head upstairs. Shelley goes to her room to take a long hot bath before the big event. Justin goes into Brian’s study in search of a joint; he needs something to take the edge off after his conversation with Lindsay. 

He’s lying on Brian’s leather sofa inhaling to smoke deep into his lungs. Then he slowly exhales it, waiting for the weed to take effect. It’s been a long time since he’s smoked pot. He could have probably scored some in Spain, but why risk it? A long prison sentence in a foreign country was the last thing he wanted, he needed to focus on the murals. After all he was paid a small fortune for all his hard work. 

His eyes wander around the room, looking at his paintings. Brian has several of them adorning the walls of his office. Then he spots a letter on Brian’s desk with his name written in cursive across the front. He sits up and reaches for it, pondering if he should actually read it. Of course he can’t help wondering what it says. So he carefully opens the envelope slowly, trying not to rip or crinkle the paper.

 

_Dear Justin,_

_By the time you’ve read this I’ll already have been in surgery and you’ll probably know about my cancer. I know I promised after last time that I wouldn’t keep things from you, and I’m sorry that I broke that promise. I never meant to hurt you, although I know I have, and all I can say is that I thought it was for the best._

_I know sorry’s bullshit! Famous last words… I just didn’t want you to worry, and you needed to finish up your murals. By the way they are fantastic. You’re so talented and I’m sure they’ll be admired by art critics from around the world. After all they were painted by “The Great Justin Taylor.” Never doubt your talent, you’re absolutely brilliant and the world is ready to take notice._

_I love you, Justin. I really do, more than I’ve ever been able to express. And that’s another regret I have. I should have told you sooner, and often. I don’t know why it was so hard to say those three little words, because I felt them from the depths of my heart._

_And if I could do it all over again, I’d do it differently. I would have told you right from the beginning that you captured my heart, even though it scared the hell out of me. I never would have let you go after you agreed to marry me. I should have gone with you to New York, and we could have been together. “Its only time” was just another one of my mantras, and we both know it was bullshit._

_I’m sorry I never gave you all those things you wanted, a home, and a family. If it’s any consolation I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. And, I too, wish we hadn’t wasted all those years, and had settled down sooner. I would have loved to have held a little sunshine in my arms, and I hope you’ll get these things someday._

_Sitting here writing this I realize that I should have told you I was sick, I miss you so much. And the truth is I’m scared. I never expected the cancer would return and spread, although Dr. Diaz says he thinks we caught it early. I don’t know if that’s true. I have a really bad feeling about this, and I so wish you were here with me. Just to see your beautiful face, and your brilliant smile one last time._

_I can only imagine how furious you are with me, and I don’t blame you. Once you get past all the anger, and grief, I hope you’ll open your heart to another. You deserve to be loved, and happy. I know you’ll have a long and beautiful life, I just wish it could have been with me. Maybe we’ll meet up on the other side, although I doubt we’ll end up in the same place._

_Please don’t cry, and when you think of me I hope you’ll remember the good times. Even though I know I often treated you badly, you never deserved that. I’m so sorry about that as well. I really was a mean bastard. If it helps any I never really meant it. I just thought you deserved someone so much better than me, and now you’ll have that chance._

_I truly love you, Justin, with all my heart ~ Brian_

I can’t help the tears running down my face, as I wipe them away with the back of my hand. After reading Brian’s letter, my heart just aches. The love I feel for him is boundless. I’m so grateful that Brian survived the surgery and is just down the hall sleeping. I carefully fold the letter back up and return it to the envelope. Thankfully it wasn’t sealed. Even though I’ve always known that Brian loves me, reading it in Brian’s own handwriting just solidifies it in my heart.

I snuggle down next to Brian and he naturally curls up next to me, finally resting his head on my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair; even at forty-three he’s still so beautiful with just a hint of silver flecks in his auburn mane. I can’t help replaying his letter in my head, it was so heartfelt. Him leaving himself so vulnerable and open, unlike the man I know so well. I can only imagine how hard that was for him to write, and how frightened he was going into his surgery. I’m so glad we talked on the phone for a few minutes beforehand. Maybe that helped calm him down as they wheeled him into the operating room.

There’s a hint of snow in the air as the cold winter wind makes the windows vibrate, and I feel a draft in the bedroom. I should get up and make Brian something to eat; it’s already been a couple of hours. I can’t help thinking it’s just like a baby’s feeding schedule. That’s when my mind returns to his written words, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and I would have loved to hold a little sunshine in my arms.” 

I naturally daydream about us raising children together, it’s something I never thought he’d give me. It just goes to show how much we have really grown together, and the possibilities that are before us. I’m lost in my thoughts when I hear him say, “What’s on your mind, Sunshine? I can hear you thinking from down here.”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Come on, spill. I know you better than that.”

But when I speak something completely different comes tumbling out. Maybe self-consciously I need to know if what Lindsay said was true. Because I hear myself asking him…

“Do you ever wish things had turned out differently?”

Now that’s vague enough…

“In what way?”

“Do you ever wish it was Michael?”

“Wish what was Michael?”

“That the two of you ended up together, instead of marrying me?”

“No. God, no…”

“Why would you ever think that?”

“Well, he is your best friend, and it’s no secret that he’s in love with you.”

“Yeah but…That’s Mikey fantasy, not mine.”

“I know, but if we never met, don’t you think you two would have ended up together?”

“No. No, absolutely not… I’ve never been attracted to Michael. Besides even if we did get together, we wouldn’t still be together now.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’ve grown apart. We’ve both grown up and moved in different directions. We hardly have anything in common anymore.”

“I know but…”

“Sunshine. You know me well enough to know that if I want something, I go after it. No matter how much Michael may pine for me, I’ve never felt that way towards him.”

“But, everybody expected that you two would be together when you finally settled down.”

“Everybody? Not me… Like I said, I’ve never felt that way towards him. Where is all this coming from?”

“It’s nothing. I was just wondering.”

“Did Lindsay say something to you?”

“Maybe…”

“Oh God. Don’t listen to her, she’s obviously been talking with Michael.”

“Oh…”

“While you were away in Spain, Michael made some grand declaration to me about how he always knew it would be us in the end. But don’t worry, I set him straight.”

I break out in my sunshine smile, grinning at him as he lifts his head and kisses me passionately.

“So what are you hungry for?”

He raises his eyebrows and lifts the blankets showing me his long, hard, cock.

“So you want dessert first, and then dinner?”

“Always!”

Brian rolls over onto his back as Justin climbs under the covers. This is the first time since he’s been back from Spain that Brian’s indicated he feels sexually aroused. Justin’s happy, he wasn’t sure when Brian’s sex drive would return. Remembering how things were after his first cancer scare he didn’t want to initiate anything or make Brian feel uncomfortable.

Just the feel of Justin’s breath across his abdomen rouses him; he arches his back as Justin takes his beautiful firm dick into his mouth. The warmth of Justin’s wet lips encompassing him sends endorphins swimming through his bloodstream, making him even more excited. Brian’s fingers naturally start carding Justin’s hair, as he bobs his head up and down on his shaft. He loves feeling the ripples of sensation as he glides against Justin’s taut cheeks. 

Justin increases his speed and depth as he takes Brian’s cock deeper into his throat. Brian thrashes his head back against the pillow as he moans his pleasure. It’s been so long since they’ve actually been together sexually, and Brian knows he won’t last long. Their eyes lock as Brian holds Justin’s head firmly in his hands as he thrusts his hips. He’s intoxicated by the sensations pulsating throughout him as he explodes, shooting down his throat.

He can still feel the vibrations quaking through his limbs, as Justin brushes his cum-covered lips against his. This is what they’ve both missed, the intimacy that’s only shared with someone who knows your body as well as you do. Someone you share that unbreakable bond with, that’s developed over years. They’re both relieved that they’ve made it over one more hurdle. They’re stronger than ever, and the passion and love they feel for one another will never die. 

TBC…


	4. ~ White Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts out as a private and romantic Christmas for Brian and Justin soon gets derailed…

Title: Stronger Together…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 4252  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance and a Little Angst, okay a lot of Angst in the beginning…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
2014 Gift Exchange for: Oceanreign

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Story Summary: After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.

Story Summary: What starts out as a private and romantic Christmas for Brian and Justin soon gets derailed…

**Chapter Four ~ White Christmas**

It’s Christmas Eve and Brian decides he’s ready to venture out of the bedroom and actually rest and relax as they watch _East of Eden,_ one of Brian’s favorite movies. Justin makes them a light meal of broiled white fish, mashed potatoes, and steamed vegetables. So far they’ve done pretty well with their food choices and Brian’s only been sick a couple of times. Of course he still tires easily and they’re back in bed by nine o’clock.

Justin wakes to Shelley coming home early. It’s only ten thirty and he’s surprised that she’s home so soon. It sounds like she’s alone and he knows that isn’t a good sign. Over the next half an hour he hears her crying on and off, and finally decides to check on her. He gently knocks on her door, then sticks his head in.

Justin’s POV

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Justin. I’m so sorry if I disturbed you two. I was trying to keep it down.”

“Can I come in?”

She shakes her head yes, and motions for him to sit next to her on the bed.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?”

She stands and embraces him, even though they barely knew each other in school. She already feels close to him and welcomes a shoulder to cry on.

“It was horrible, a complete disaster. He’s just not the man I thought he was.”

“I’m so sorry. Tell me what happened.” 

“I wanted to surprise him. I thought he’d be so proud of me. But when I told him I was accepted to medical school he totally flipped out.”

I’m pretty shocked. Shelley told me that he knew all about her dreams of becoming a doctor. It was all she ever talked about growing up. Both she and Daphne wanted to go to medical school. It seems like they’ve been together forever. I know she’s been dating Charlie since junior high school.

“Oh my God. I can only imagine how you’re feeling.”

“I told him before I left Chicago that I wanted to go back to school. I told him before I even applied to medical school, and he said he was fine with it.”

I just nod, motioning for her to continue.

“I was so sure we’d be celebrating my acceptance to Pittsburgh University Medical School and our engagement tonight.”

She starts crying again, so I hand her the box of Kleenex.

“He said he thought that I’d given up that nonsense of becoming a doctor, and not only that. He actually said he just assumed that I’d be a stay-at-home wife. He just expected me to quit my nursing job, and become a housewife once we were married.”

I just shake my head, staring at her. She continues…

“He said that when I mentioned I wanted to go to back to school, he just assumed I meant to take some cooking, or home decorating classes. ‘No wife of his was going to work!’ He just thought I’d be a good little housewife, like his mother.”

“He sure made a lot of assumptions. It seems like he didn’t even really know you at all.”

“Exactly! He has no clue who I am, or what I want in life. It’s like he never really listened when I talked to him.”

“I’m so sorry. You must be devastated.”

“I am… and the worst part is that we had this conversation right in front of everyone! All our family, friends and even some of my colleagues who came from Chicago for my engagement party. I just panicked and left. I drove around for a while before coming back here.”

“I’m so glad you did. I’m so glad you had some place to go so you could get away from everyone.”

“Me too… At least I still have the diamond ring, and I’ve decided I’m keeping it. I deserve it after putting up with him all these years. Besides, I can sell it to help pay for medical school. The ring cost a fortune, it’s actually two carats, and medical school isn’t cheap. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for it. My family’s not rich, but his was. So now that’s a problem, but I’ll figure something out.”

“Well at least you can stay here for now. You don’t have to worry about a place to live. I’m sure there are scholarships and grants you can apply for. I know you’re really smart. So please don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. Just give yourself some time to grieve. I know how devastating it is missing someone you love.”

“You know the thing is, I actually feel okay. I mean, it would be so much worse if I married him and then found out how he feels.”

“But then, of course, if we did marry I’d have the alimony and I’d be able to pay for medical school. Oh God, that sounded cold, didn’t it? Well, I guess I’m a bitch.”

“No. I understand. Anger is part of the grieving process, and ending a long-term relationship is a lot like surviving a death. I can find a joint, if you think that will help?”

“That’s sweet, but I think I’m all cried out and I just need to get some sleep.”

Justin hugs her, and wishes her a good night.

Christmas morning they wake to a fresh blanket of snow, covering the ground and the trees. The sun is shining brightly through the set of ceiling-to-floor windows in their bedroom. Brian’s in a good mood and even a little excited about Christmas, maybe for the first time in his life. Brian has his arm wrapped around Justin’s waist, who’s curled up next to him, drooling slightly on his forearm. Brian loves to watch Justin sleep. He looks so young, just like a little boy.

Justin’s eyes flutter open, gazing into Brian’s hazel orbs that seem to reflect the morning sun. He leans up and captures Brian lips with his, the kiss soft and gentle. Then Brian slides his hand behind Justin’s neck and it becomes more passionate. There’s nothing better than waking up in the arms of the man you love. Justin suggests that they have a cup of cocoa in front of the fireplace. He can’t help it if he’s a total romantic at heart.

It’s toasty and warm, all snuggled down under a quilt as they listen to the fire crackling, watching the snow fall. It’s almost like a picture postcard, inspiring Justin to get out his paints after breakfast to bring it to life on canvas. They don’t have a Christmas tree, but Justin has strung white twinkling lights on the large palm tree in the corner and around the windows, to make it feel festive. On the mantle he has about twenty vanilla candles, burning in all sizes and shapes, from tiny tea lights to large pillars. He even took out the silver candlesticks his aunt sent them for their wedding present.

Much to Justin’s surprise there’s presents under the make-shift Christmas tree. He can’t help wondering when Brian had a chance to put them there, let alone buy them. Brian’s never been big on Christmas; it has something to do with his residual memories of his unhappy childhood. Justin stares at him in astonishment, making Brian smirk, then he breaks out into a huge grin. 

“Well, Santa heard you were a very good boy this year.”

“Did he now?”

“Yeah. Besides, I hate the idea of you being disappointed. I haven’t always been so attentive in the past, so I decided to make up for past holidays.”

Justin actually gets tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Well. Go on. Go get them. I want to watch you open them.”

Justin comes back with a stack of boxes in a variety of sizes. He opens one of the big ones first, tearing off the wrapping paper like an anxious child. His smile grows as he sees that it’s a caramel colored suede jacket, so soft and supple he can’t help running his hands over the velvety hide. He throws himself into Brian’s arms, kissing him madly.

“Thanks, I love it!”

He tries it on, modeling it for Brian as he struts across the living room. Brian hands him another one, a blue cashmere sweater that makes his eyes sparkle. The next one is smaller in size but big in surprise. 

“Brian, you got me the new iPhone?”

“It’s the one you wanted, right? Besides, you lost your other one somewhere at Johns Hopkins.”

Justin’s all smiles, as he grabs another package and rips it open. Inside are several new pairs of pants. A couple pairs of blue jeans, and of course, his favorite cargo pants in beige, blue and black. 

“You needed them. Have you seen all your pants? They’re covered in paint splatters. Maybe these you can keep paint free for a while.”

“Maybe. Thanks, Brian. God, there’s still so many. Let me run and get your presents.”

“Okay, but hurry back… and bring me a cup of that French roast on your way back please.”

Justin returns, carrying a tray with fresh brewed coffee, chocolate croissants and apple streusel. Brian makes a fuss about hating sweets, but he has a thing for chocolate croissants, and he loves anything apple. Justin sets down his pile of presents he had hidden away in his studio, although it’s not as big as the stack of presents from Brian. He hands Brian the largest of the bunch - a large box with a smaller box on top, held together with fancy metallic ribbon. They’re heavy, making Brian wonder what’s inside.

“You have to open them to find out what’s inside.”

Unlike Justin, Brian meticulously removes the paper from the top box, and folds it nicely, setting it on the coffee table next to them. Justin impatiently rolls his eyes as he watches him carefully open the box and then the tissue paper. But he’s happy when he sees the surprise on Brian’s face. “Wow, Sunshine, it’s beautiful.”

Brian holds up his new leather briefcase, caressing the soft burgundy leather. He blushes a little as he’s not used to receiving really nice presents. It’s hard for him to believe that he deserves them, although he should be used to it by now. Justin always goes out of his way to get Brian nice things that will remind Brian of him of how much he loves him. Brian leans in and captures Justin’s lips. “I love you.”

“You better!”

“Brat.”

“Now open the bigger one. They go together.”

Brian glances at him, still wondering what would go with a briefcase. But he’s truly pleased when he sees that it’s a matching suitcase. 

“I didn’t wrap the whole set. The rest of the suitcases, duffel bag, and hanging suit bag are still in my studio. I hope you like them. I plan on making sure they get good use this year.”

Brian’s more than pleased. Besides being beautiful deep burgundy leather, they’re designed by Michael Kors, one of his new favorite designers. He’s been using the luggage he bought when he first started traveling for business, back when he worked for Ryder.

“Now you open another one from me.”

Justin starts to motion for him to open the thick envelope, but Brian glares at him, “Justin, just open it.”

Brian sips his coffee, as Justin slowly runs his finger underneath the tape, driving Brian crazy as Justin imitates him. 

“Oh, for Christ sake, just tear it open!”

So Justin does, but it’s lightweight tricking Justin into thinking it’s something small. There’s a note inside that says to look in the coat closet. He’s really surprised when he sees a suit bag tucked in the back, hiding behind their coats and jackets. It’s a new suit Brian had made just for him by his tailor. Justin holds up the navy-blue suit jacket. “It’s so beautiful, Brian. But where am I going to wear a suit?”

“Now that you’re coming into your own in your career, you’ll need a good suit on occasion. And if you’re a good boy, I just might take you out to a five-star restaurant for dinner, sometime.”

Justin’s all smiles as he opens the next box. It has several dress shirts inside - white, light blue, royal blue, red and black. 

“Don’t let me catch you painting in those shirts. They cost me a pretty penny.”

“Yes, sir. I promise.”

Justin hands Brian another present. It’s very small, and inside the box is a gold bracelet, with a design of Celtic knots woven together in platinum across the top. Brian smiles as he runs his fingers across the raised knot pattern. Justin can tell he loves it. His heritage means a lot to him and he’s happy that Justin acknowledged it. 

“Thanks, Sunshine, I love it.”

“I hoped you would. It looks beautiful against your skin tone.”

Justin’s next two presents are small, but he loves them and always seems to want them. The first is a gift box of his favorite Belgian Chocolates with a variety of dark, milk and white chocolate truffles, caramels and nut clusters. 

“Try not to eat them all in one day. You might actually get fat.”

Justin looks shocked. “Are you calling me fat?” With that he wraps his arms around Brian’s neck and kisses him.

“Promise me you’ll still love me when I’m old and fat.”

“I promise. I’ll probably have Alzheimer’s by then, so I won’t know who you are anyways.”

Justin goes to swat him across the chest, but Brian pulls him into his arms and runs kisses across his shoulders as he squirms, tickled by Brian’s day-old beard. 

The next box is full of art supplies - sable paintbrushes, charcoal pencils and a stack of sketch pads in various sizes. Along with Justin’s favorite brand paints, tubes in every color imaginable, it’s the biggest paint set he’s ever seen. He’s in heaven and can’t wait to start painting again. It’s been so long since he’s painted a canvas, after spending months working so hard on the murals. 

There’s one last present for Justin. Brian insists he open it before he finishes opening up Justin’s last presents to him. This one is heavy, yet compact. Of course he should be able to tell what it is, but he’s not thinking. 

“Brian, what could possibly be this heavy and so thin?” 

“You’ll have to open it up and find out now, won’t you?”

Justin sets it on the coffee table so he won’t drop it, and starts to rip off the paper. He sees the box and gasps. 

“Brian, you bought me a new Apple MacBook Pro?”

Brian just grins at him, doing that thing he does with his lips, pulling them into his mouth, looking totally adorable.

Justin’s so excited he’s giddy, practically jumping up and down. Then he turns and hugs Brian, kissing him madly. 

“Oh God, Brian! I love you so much! I can’t believe you did this! Oh God! Fuck! I just can’t believe this!”

“Okay, calm down. We don’t want an accident and have you wet your pants!”

Justin’s so excited he almost forgot his last few presents for Brian.

“Oh, you still have a couple to open. I was planning on doing some shopping once I got back from Spain, but I haven’t really had time. So…”

“Just hand them to me. I know I’ll love whatever you got me.”

Justin hands Brian three more presents, all rather small and lightweight. Brian shakes the first one, and it rattles a little. It’s a tin of cashews. Brian’s other indulgence that he rarely allows others to know about.

“Umm, my favorite! But I’m guessing I’ll have to share them with you.”

“Of course.”

The next one is long and slender, containing several designer ties that will look great with Brian’s suits, and the last one looks like a thick card, but it’s wrapped in tissue paper instead of an envelope. Brian slowly tears the tissue paper off, and sees that it’s actually a small book that Justin’s made. The cover reads, ‘Brian and Justin’s Big Adventure.’

The first page looks like a passport that’s full of stamps, showing the destinations he’s drawn on the next pages. He’s illustrated the two of them on vacation in various countries that they’ve always talked about visiting. The heading on each page announces the country they’re visiting in calligraphic scroll. In Ibiza, it shows the two of them, lying on a beach, being waited on by a cabana boy. In Paris, it’s the two of them holding hands in front of the Eiffel Tower. In Italy, he pictures them drinking wine near the Coliseum. Next, the two of them are exploring an archaeological dig near the Parthenon in Greece. 

He’s drawn them saluting the guards at Buckingham Palace in England, and skiing the slopes of the Swiss Alps. Then they’re riding camels, visiting the Pyramids of Egypt, then standing on the Great Wall in China. Next they’re in Ireland, visiting the old castles and the beautiful Cliffs of Moher. He pictures them standing on the deck of a ship, cruising the Caribbean and enjoying the sand and surf.

Then they are doing a jaunt around the States, surfing in Hawaii and eating lobster in Maine. They visit Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, and the Grand Canyon in Arizona. In San Francisco he has them dancing at a gay nightclub in the Castro and standing on the Golden Gate Bridge. Finally they’re in Las Vegas, gambling and watching a floor show of an Elvis impersonator. He ends the travel log with them visiting Niagara Falls, looking up at the great waterfalls with a beautiful rainbow in the background. After all it is the ultimate spot for lovers.

“How about it? Can I take you on a trip around the world?”

Brian’s truly flabbergasted. He just grins at Justin, wondering how he ended up marrying someone so loving and caring.

“I don’t know what to say, the illustration are just amazing. You’re so talented, I feel like I should take the book apart and have them framed. “I love you, Justin. You really are the best! I don’t deserve you.”

Justin blushes, and then leans in to kiss Brian. They fall back against the sofa and make out like teenagers for a little while. That is, until they hear Shelley returning, after sneaking out early this morning to spend Christmas with her family. But after several hours she had to escape as everyone just kept saying how sorry they were about last night, and no one seemed to know what else to say to her.

“Please join us. I can make you some cocoa, or fresh-ground French roast coffee?”

“Thanks, but I don’t want to disturb your Christmas day. I’ll just go up to my room and maybe take a nice long bath and relax.”

“Alright, if that’s what you want to do. But please join us for dinner. I’m roasting a small turkey breast and I’m making all the fixings.”

“That’s so sweet, but I shouldn’t. I know how much you want your privacy.”

Brian just looks at her. “I’d really like you to join us, so I hope you’ll change your mind.”

Justin’s in the kitchen making them a little breakfast, an egg-white omelet with a side of hash browns for him and a side of whole wheat toast for Brian. Brian’s reading the newspaper, yes, the actual paper. There’s just something about holding the real newspaper and reading it; he loves reading the business section. Justin’s finishing up the plates with orange slices, when he answers the phone. He assumes it’s his mom, or Daphne calling to wish them a Merry Christmas. 

He’s surprised to hear Ted’s voice. “Justin, I’m so sorry to have to call and tell you this but Lindsay just couldn’t keep her big mouth shut. Now everyone’s planning on surprising you, by bringing Christmas dinner out to your house.”

“Oh Fuck! You’re joking, right?”

“I’m afraid not. You know once Debbie and Michael get something in their heads it’s hard to persuade them otherwise.”

“Give the phone to Debbie. I’ll set her straight.”

After a very long conversation, and many rounds of arguing they finally agree to come out for dessert and coffee in the evening. They agreed to only stay an hour, and then let Brian get some rest. Justin couldn’t stress enough that Brian wasn’t feeling well, and any longer would be too taxing for him.

Luckily they had an early dinner at midday, and plan on a small snack of turkey sandwiches later that evening. It’s easier on Brian’s digestive system to eat small portions often throughout the day and evening. Shelley and Justin have just finished the dishes and are cleaning up the kitchen, when a caravan of cars drive up the long driveway and everyone descends on the house. Brian was actually taking a nap on the sofa, tucked under a quilt, in front of the fire when he was woken by the doorbell. He sits up abruptly, still a little dazed and groggy when he hears the commotion in the front hallway.

“Deb! We agreed on early evening and it’s only three thirty.”

“I know, but it’s Christmas and we wanted to celebrate.”

“Need I remind everyone that Brian’s sick? So please keep it down and don’t upset him. You know how he can be when he’s grumpy and doesn’t feel well. And please remember we agreed to one hour and I’m holding you all to that.”

They barge in, all talking at once, ignoring Justin’s request as they call out to Brian. Michael spots him on the sofa first. “There you are. Merry Christmas!”

He leans in to kiss Brian, but Brian holds up his hand and smiles. “I really don’t feel well. Besides, I didn’t think you were coming until after dark?”

“I wanted to see you. It’s been so long since we’ve gotten together.”

“Michael, we saw each other a week ago.”

“I know but it’s Christmas. We should be together. After all we’re family, and it’s a tradition.”

Shelley smiles at Justin, excusing herself to go upstairs to her room.

Next is Debbie who comes towards Brian, ready to smother him in a big hug, as usual.

“Deb, please. I’m really not feeling well.”

“Justin, is that chicken soup I made for Brian ready yet?”

“I’m going to save that for later.”

“No, he’s sick, so heat it up now. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”

It slips from Brian’s lips before he has time to catch it.

“Actually the doctor said not to eat soup.”

“What? What kind of doctor instructs you not to eat soup with a stomach flu? What does he know? My soup cures everything.”

Brian looks away, but it’s too late. Debbie notices the look on his face and won’t let it go.

“Brian, tell me. What’s going on? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit!”

“Okay, don’t any of you freak out. It’s not the stomach flu… It’s stomach cancer.”

“Michael breaks into full drama mode. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh My God, not again! Oh Brian!”

Justin pulls Michael into the other room. “Stop it! Just stop it!”

“But I’m Brian’s best friend. I should be here for him. You should have told me.”

“Then act like his best friend, and respect his wishes. Please don’t go all drama queen on him, like last time.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Last time you were so upset and distraught, it was Brian who had to comfort you.”

“I just care about him. Of course I was upset, and I am upset now.”

“So grow up and be his best friend. Stop freaking out. Be supportive. But let him rest and recuperate in privacy, like he wants. He’ll feel better after a couple of weeks and then you can visit for longer periods of time.” 

Michael looks at Justin, angry and upset, but then it sinks in. This isn’t about him and his feelings of being left out. He finally hears what Justin is trying to tell him. So he backs off and promises that they’ll only stay long enough to have coffee and pumpkin pie. He goes over and puts his arm around Deb’s shoulder, asking her to help him cut the pie. As soon as Deb steps away from Brian, Lindsay is right there babying him like a child.

“Oh Brian! I can’t believe you’re sick!” 

She starts trying to fluff his pillows and pamper him.

“Why, thank you so much for respecting our privacy like we asked you to do.”

“Brian. We always spend Christmas together. How was I supposed to know you were really sick? You didn’t tell me the truth!”

Michael returns, carrying a tray of coffee cups into the living room. Debbie’s right behind with plates of pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Justin comes in, holding up the pot of coffee. “Who’s ready pie and coffee?”

Everyone in the room tries to show their support and concern, not knowing what they should say. As promised everyone heads home after an emotional hour and calm returns as Justin sits on the sofa. Brian rests his head in his lap and soon he’s asleep as Justin runs his fingers through his hair.

TBC…


	5. Our Future Looks Bright…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin finally start enjoying their life together …

Title: Stronger Together…  
Story Type: AU  
Word Count: 3427  
Rating: R, Porn…  
Warnings: Love, Passion, Romance and a Little Angst, okay a lot of Angst in the beginning…  
Beta Queen: BigJ52  
2014 Gift Exchange for: Oceanreign

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Story Summary: After surviving years in a long-distance relationship, they finally marry only to be separated again. Just as they’re finally about to be reunited their relationship is tested once more. But they’re always stronger together, determined to make things work.

Chapter Summary: Brian and Justin finally start enjoying their life together …

 

**Chapter Five ~ Our Future Looks Bright…**

Justin’s POV

We made it through Christmas although there was still tension between Lindsay and Brian. That evening Brian calls Gus to wish him a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah. He’s having a blast enjoying the holidays in Florida. Much to his surprise, Mel actually put up a little Christmas tree in their hotel room and had gifts from Santa under the tree. She explains that just because Lindsay refuses to join them in Florida while visiting her parents, she wants Gus to celebrate both holidays as usual. Lindsay is planning on flying back to Toronto to meet them for a New Year’s Eve celebration.

Our New Year’s Eve is quiet, just the two of us in front of the fireplace. Even though we’re not really drinking, we celebrate with a bottle of champagne to toast the New Year. As we promised we’re making plans to travel once Brian’s feeling better, and his stomach problems have stabilized. He told me he’s planning something special for Valentine’s Day. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s been making an effort to be more attentive, giving me the things he thinks he’s neglected in the past. 

I kind of like this new and improved Brian, although I’m guessing he’s still a little freaked out about his cancer scare. Maybe it’s just the thought that he might have died, and we’d never have had time together. Maybe that’s making him realize that we have to make the most out of the time we have now. I’m glad he seems more attentive to our relationship. I just wish he didn’t need to have gone through another bout of cancer to get here.

Michael and I seem to have come to a better understanding. We both know that we only want what’s best for Brian, and we’ve accepted each other’s place in Brian’s life. You might even say we’re friendly, although I doubt we’ll ever be close friends; there’s just too much water under the bridge for that. But I’m trying to make time for them to see each other on a regular basis. Brian would say that they’ve grown apart, but I’m trying to help them rebuild some of what’s been lost over the years.

It was hard for both of them, with me in New York for seven years and Ben’s deteriorating health. Brian was working long days to make Kinnetik work, and his free time he spent traveling to see me. Michael was faced with the reality of caring for Ben, which left little time for his friendship with Brian. He grew to resent the times Brian was away visiting me, making my relationship with Michael even more strained. But I’m hoping that things will change now that I’m back home.

As promised, Brian has been spending a little more time with Michael. Mostly just hanging out, talking, and watching DVDs which is just fine. Neither one of them is really into the club scene these days, although Brian keeps telling Michael that he needs to start dating again, that it’s been long enough since Ben passed away. Now I’ve heard everything; Brian Kinney suggesting someone actually settle down. That’s a first. But I think he just sees how lonely Michael is, and wants him to share his life with someone. Whoever said Brian Kinney doesn’t show his emotions or have a heart?

I’ve been painting every day, and I seem to have established a pattern of painting after breakfast until early afternoon. We spend the afternoons talking about our dreams for the future and we’re often swimming in our indoor pool, or reading and writing. Yes, Brian has started writing. Mostly fiction but he really seems to enjoy it, he has a great imagination. He’s also thinking about writing a book about the advertising business. He seems pretty happy now that he’s finally taking time to enjoy life. 

Shelley’s still living with us, even though Brian and I are doing well on our own. I don’t mind her living here as we all get along fine and she’s been helping out around the house. She applied for some scholarships and grants but it was a little late for the current semester, so she’s planning on starting school this spring. She ended up posting what happened with her engagement on her Facebook page. She gained so much support that she ended up putting her wedding ring and dress for sale on eBay. There was a bidding war for the designer gown and the fancy diamond. So her financial situation is stable for now, although medical school is still very expensive.

This will be the first time we’ve attended one of Deb’s Sunday night dinners. I just hope Deb doesn’t serve anything too heavy or spicy, as Brian’s still on a very limited diet. Brian has a follow-up appointment with Dr. Diaz next week, and if all goes well we’ll start making arrangements for our travel plans over the next year. I’m so excited. We’re really going to travel, just the two of us. Dare I say it will be, “ridiculously romantic?”

Ted and Cynthia have been doing a great job managing Kinnetik, so Brian decided to promote them. They both came out to the house for lunch earlier this week and Brian let them know his plans for the future. He’s appointing Ted to the CFO position, and Cynthia as a partner, giving them both twenty percent of the business. He really feels like he can trust them, and he’s finally made the decision to cut back his schedule when he returns to work, after taking this next year off. 

Brian’s been acting kind of strange lately. I just know he has something up his sleeve, which is so unlike him. He finally let me in on my Valentine’s Day surprise. He’s taking me to Hawaii, and I’m so excited I can’t wait. He says that getting away together is enough of a present for Valentine’s Day. But I still want to get him a little something because he’s been so great lately. So I’ll have to brainstorm ideas. I want it to be something he’ll really enjoy.

At tonight’s dinner at Deb’s we’re celebrating Teddy’s promotion. As we enter Deb’s house Ted starts thanking Brian again for everything, and for recognizing all his hard work. Blake is beaming, telling Teddy that he’s a great accountant and businessman. It’s good to see Ted so happy and not the insecure, self-deprecating individual I met so many years ago. Brian has a way of bringing out the best in people. 

Michael’s a little down in the dumps; the holidays are always hard for him now that Ben’s gone. Hunter has been going to school out of state, and he spent Christmas with his girlfriend’s parents. Emmett suggests that Michael come with him to Babylon tonight, saying it will be fun to get out and dance the night away. He’s a little resistant, but eventually gives in after Em’s insistent pestering. Emmett mentions that there’s someone he wants to introduce to Michael, he thinks they’ll get along great.

So after a dinner of Deb’s famous puttanesca, fresh-baked bread and Em’s fabulous caramel cake we head home, while the others head to Babylon. Brian still tires easily and dinner was a little heavy for him. So as he relaxes against our big fluffy pillows on the bed, I crawl up his body, leaving a trail of kisses along my path. As I reach my destination he’s already hard and moaning with anticipation. I lick and nip the inside of his thighs, driving him crazy as he snaps at me to move it along. He’s so demanding and impatient. I flash him a smile as our eyes lock and my tongue dips down, caressing him as pre-cum dribbles down his shaft.

His eyes become hooded as he arches his back and his head pushes into the pillow. His moans are back, and soon he’s chanting my name, “Jus, Jus, Jus…” I love hearing him when he’s in this state, so excited by my teasing, almost begging me to swallow him whole. So, of course, I do. Soon my warm wet mouth has encompassed him as I run my lips up and down. I can’t help drooling a little, so it runs down, coating his balls. I make good use of it, letting my fingers gently caress them.

He’s so gorgeous, as his skin begins to glisten and his hips start to buck. He wants more. He wants this torture to stop and for me to speed up, but I can’t help teasing him a little more as I lick my way up his dick and run my tongue around his crown. I love how sensitive his beautiful ridge is, as I continue gliding across his slit. My lips and cheeks suck him, as my other hand slips up and down his cock. I increase my speed and he increases his moaning. I feel his hand grasp my hair, helping glide my mouth to take more of him in until he hits the back of my throat.

Several deep plunges as I cradle his sack, gently clasping him, then he’s right on the edge. He pants and thrusts his hips, so I increase my rhythm until I feel him spilling his nectar. He’s becoming so loud, I’m glad Shelley is spending the night with her girlfriends. I’m pretty sure she already thinks we’re sex maniacs, and hearing us now would only confirm it. I swallow all his sweet cream, licking up his remaining juices, cleaning him up while he tries to catch his breath. I lie down beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. His arms naturally encircle me, pulling me closer and soon he’s sleeping peacefully.

The next couple of weeks flew by fast and now we find ourselves relaxing on white sandy beaches with the warmth of the sun toasting our skin. Brian, of course, turns golden brown almost overnight, while I’m coated with 50 plus sunblock. We spend our days playing tourist, seeing the beautiful waterfalls and renting jet skis. We tried snorkeling, and then decided to take scuba diving lessons. 

I’m pretty sure the gorgeous hunk, teaching the class, might have had something to do with Brian’s enthusiasm. But once we were confident with our diving skills it was great discovering so many coral reefs, and colorful tropical fish. Brian wanted to explore an old shipwreck, but I was too worried that something might happen, so I vetoed that idea. Although our hunky instructor offered to take him on his own, I also vetoed that idea. It’s okay to look and enjoy the scenery but we have a hands-off policy now that we’re married. Who wants to go back to using condoms? Certainly not me.

We’re sitting at a window table in a fabulous five-star restaurant, gazing at the ocean in the moonlight. The lights are down very low, and our table is illuminated by candles. Our waiter has just opened a bottle of Cristal champagne and is pouring us each a glass. Brian looks so happy, he’s doing that thing with his mouth where he pulls his lips in, while grinning at me. His eyes are sparkling and I can tell he has something on his mind. It takes me a moment to realize that he’s placed a beautifully wrapped present in front of me.

“Brian. I thought we agreed that we weren’t giving each other Valentine’s Day presents?”

“It’s not really a present.”

“Brian. It looks like a present to me.”

“Okay. But, it’s really more of a present for me, from you.”

“Brian. You got a present for yourself, for me to give to you?”

“Kind of, but not exactly… Just open it already.”

Now he’s grinning ever broader, if that’s possible. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look this happy. Well, except during our wedding, he was extremely emotional then as well. I can’t help wondering what in the world it could be. God, I hope it’s not a fancy dildo, although the box is a little small for that.

“Justin! Just open it, for Christ sake!”

Okay. Now he seems a little nervous, almost worried about my reaction. I start to tear off the golden foil wrapping paper and that’s when I notice the embossed design. It’s a stork cradling a baby in its blanket. I look at him a little puzzled, and wonder if the gift wrapping department ran out of Valentine’s Day paper. Inside I see that it’s a blue boxes with the Tiffany insignia on the top. I slowly remove the lid to reveal a sterling silver baby’s rattle. It’s beautiful. My mind is racing and I can’t help hoping that this means what I think it means.

“Brian…?”

He raises his eyebrows. “I thought maybe it was time to think about starting a family of our own?”

“Oh my God! Brian! Really?”

He’s back to that lips thing again, pulling them into his mouth and he looks so damn adorable. I think I have tears in my eyes, even though I knew he was thinking about this from sneaking a peek at his letter to me. I didn’t know if he was really serious, and I was too afraid to bring it up, too afraid that he would turn me down. He reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, then he puts his hand under my chin and leans in and kisses me passionately.

“I love you so much, Brian. You never seem to stop amazing me.”

“So, I guess that’s a yes?”

“Yes! Yes! But how do you want to do this? Do you want to adopt, or do you want to use a surrogate? I don’t even know how you go about finding a surrogate.”

“I’ve actually explored this idea a little, but I wanted to talk to you first. I want you to be totally comfortable with the idea, and of course the final decision is yours.”

“Ours, Brian. We’re doing this together. Whose sperm should we use?”

“Justin, I don’t think it would be wise to use mine. I’ve been sick, and I want our child to be as healthy as possible. Besides, I just assumed that you’d want to have a child of your own.”

“Our own little Sunshine.” I heard myself whisper and I wonder if he picks up on the reference from his letter.

“Yeah, a little Sunshine of our own.”

We both smile at each other, grinning like fools. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. I’ve never really allowed myself to actually think it was a real possibility. But now, here we are, we’re really going to do this. I’m so happy and I can tell he is too.

“So, like I was saying I’ve actually explored this idea a little. I mentioned it to Shelley. How do you feel about Shelley?”

“I love Shelley, she’s great. Does she know someone who’d be willing to be our surrogate? It’s a big commitment, and I’d want someone who’d be willing to agree to eat healthy, and stay physically fit.”

Brian grins again. “I know. That’s why I talked to her about it, and she’s agreed to carry our child. Actually, she’s agreed to carry two children for us, because I know how you feel about only children.”

“Really, Brian? Really?”

“Well, I figured she’d be perfect. I mean she’s smart, tall, slim, blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Between the two of you, you’d make the most beautiful children.”

I start crying again. “I can’t believe this. I never imagined it could be this easy.”

“She’s willing to relinquish her parental rights, although she wouldn’t mind if the children grow up knowing who she is. It’s up to us, however we want it.”

“Wow, I mean wow… So how do we compensate her for something like this?”

“Well, I offered to let her live with us while she attends medical school. At least while she’s carrying the children, unless of course she wants to live elsewhere. I’ve also offered to pay her tuition. I know she’s struggling and after all, we can afford it. I talked with an attorney about adoption and how expensive it can be, so this seems reasonable.”

“You’ve really thought this out.”

“It just kind of happened. We were talking about our futures and with her situation it just seemed like a natural solution. It’s totally up to you, like I said. I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured in any way.”

“No. It’s perfect. Oh Brian, we’re really going to be parents. I’m just so happy!”

“Me too, Sunshine. Me too.”

We went back to our hotel suite and celebrated Kinney style. We barely made it out of the elevator before he was ready to jump me, pulling on each other’s clothes until they were in a pile on the floor. Brian backs me up until I’ve fallen onto the bed, his lips demanding, just like the rest of him. Soon he’s flipped me onto my back as he runs his tongue down my spine. I’m glad he’s feeling better; his stomach has finally healed enough so that he can resume his dominant nature. He always feels better when he’s completely in control, not that he doesn’t like me being aggressive.

He spreads my cheeks, taking a moment to admire my pink rosebud before he points his tongue and dips into my tight ravine. I love rimming, and he’s so good, it excites me to no end. I feel him caressing my tender tissues, working me open, and his breath on my back tickles me. I spread my legs further helping him penetrate me, loving all the sensations that are starting to build. It always ends too soon. I’d be happy if he just rimmed me until I came. But he has other plans as he flips me back over, hovering above my body.

There’s a sparkle in his eyes that’s part longing and part mischief, filling me with desire. He bends down and captures my lips in a passionate kiss before he raises my legs onto his shoulders. I love it when he makes love to me like this. I love being able to watch his eyes, seeing the emotion he’s feeling, but rarely speaks about. But I can read him so well and words aren’t important anymore, I know how much he loves me. 

He reaches for the lube and warms it in his hand before he coats my pucker, wiping the excess lube down his shaft. He looks deeply into my eyes as his starts to enter me; he’s not the only one expressing emotion with their eyes. I love the feeling of him gliding deep into me. I love how full and tight he feels, especially since we no longer use condoms. I think that’s the best part of being married. Well that, and the fact that I know I’m the only one he shares himself with now. Yep, I’m spoiled. It’s what I’ve always wanted, and he’s finally given himself to me completely.

He leans down again and captures my lips just as he plunges into me, then he pulls almost all the way out and does it again, and again. He knows my body so well, and he knows he’s hitting my prostate spot on. Then he shifts just a little as his ridge caresses me, sending me into another realm. I’m feeling that warm and tingly feeling as it starts to build. He sets a steady rhythm that soon takes over all my senses, waves of pleasure spiral throughout my body. I’m now drooling and my eyes are glazing over. I’m in heaven as he places his palms on the bottom of my feet and drives deeper into me, pulling himself into no-man’s land.

We both moan loudly as we’re consumed by our own orgasms. My tight walls squeeze him as he falls over the edge, filling me. I love feeling this close to him, and I love feeling his cum running down the insides of my legs. I know that sounds a little gross but it somehow makes me feel claimed by him, owned by him. He looks so beautiful with his hair drenched, sticking to his forehead, and the grin on his face makes my heart sing. This is the best Valentine’s Day ever. I feel so loved.

End of Part One… 

_I plan to continue this story in 2015_

**Author's Note:**

> __  
>  Author’s note: I researched Testicular cancer and the risks of the cancer spreading. Men who have had testicular cancer and underwent chemotherapy and or radiation are more susceptible to developing bladder, stomach and pancreatic cancer…   
>  __  
>  All the information, symptoms and treatments used in this story are from; WebMD, Cancer Treatment Centers of American and Cancer Research UK websites.   
> 


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